“Among human fellows i experience loneliness, among naked nature i go back to my loneliness which has its beauty, its profoundness, its mysteries, its magnificence…one gets drunk with its secret taste and expansion of consciousness…”
Welcome to bai ma shan, the white horse mountain, the dwelling of the immortals…a place where wordly discomforts make one ponder about his habits and attachments. And once one bows down to the five Immortals and Guan Yin with a naked heart and mind, a strong connection ties one to that exceptionnal energy field making each steps away from the temple heavy, filling one’s heart with nostalgia as if leaving behind the love of one’s life.
That last day before i left the temple, i shared with Li shifu my last experience among many experiences i had during the 3 months I spent training in taichi and learning dan dao.
The night after the end of the alchemy course I was lying in my bed in the “dragon hibernating” position, preparing myself to have a good sleep.
But the healing process I had started for many years continued that night. I felt that the blockage I had in my left shoulder for many years, dissolve with little tiny vibrations. Then all the liquids and gas stuck in my stomach started moving. A warm flow of heat runned down my legs to the tip of the toes. Of course it was only one of the many layers that dissolved that evening but somehow an inner voice told me that the ending of the healing process had started. I was at the last stage of the whole process of eradicating a karmic obstacle.
At 4 o’clock in the morning I woke up, and while I was walking outside, I “heard” : “you have to come back to pay back your gratitude”. It was as if the Immortals were talking to me…
Li shifu told me that it was very normal, that many other students who came here had the same kind of experience. That the strong connection I felt and the faith and devotion I developped here was the beginning of an awakening. That nothing was special or strange but very natural.
And many old students came back because they also had the same feeling of attachment I had towards this place.
But for me it is strange because in other spiritual places like plum village, where the energy fields are as strong as here, even if I love this cozy and warm place, when time comes to leave I don’t feel any attachment nor “missing”. And no such connection with the higher energies “above”. But here…It is as if I belonged to the five immortals temple…
Learning from my feelings and emotions, bridging my body and mind owing to the training of taichi, wisdom arises. I let go all these “ghosts” of the past hanging around the mind, preventing me to unburden my heart, and keeping my wounds alive as if they were jewels that I couldn’t be separate with. They are just dead bundles but we give them so much power on our destiny.
For sure I will come back to pay back my gratitude, when and how I don’t know but I’m confident that when time comes I will receive some signs from the immortals …