It is now nearly 1 ½ years ago that I returned from the temple.
When people asked me how it was and what I learned, I always answer: “It was a paradox. I learned things that I wouldn’t have expected to learn and I learned things that I did even NOT expect.”
How much the time in the temple changed me and how much I truly learned about myself is still showing every day. When I came to the Mountain I just came from a project which taught me a lot about communication and in which my comrades and I were striving to connect human beings. When I came to the temple I was confronted with myself and my limitations which I had covered up with a lovely blanket which served me well and I was proud of. To turn inwards and to truly become free was what I had learned again, and it took me weeks to even get to the point of understanding.
When someone asks me about the temple and if it is possible to go, directly after saying yes, I say: “ Beware Li Shifu is a person that gives you what you need and not what you want.”
I found myself so many times craving the attention of the master, trying to make him look at how great I already am. How foolish to make my self-love dependent on another person in the first place. Seeing other students talk to Shifu and having deep conversations or asking profound questions made me want to do the same. But there was nothing. Nothing that I wanted to ask, nothing I had to discuss. The more times passed, the more I let go.
One of the most important things for me to say about the temple and my time there, is that I never felt judged or looked down upon by Li Shifu. Whether he was in a hurry or somewhat mad at the students or anything else he did, I always felt accepted and loved. Where in the first weeks I doubted and questioned methods, I became calm and began to see that everything is done, serves a purpose. Who am I to question the purpose or even the method of a person who has achieved so much.
Although I came to practice Martial Arts and learn to move my body in a way that connects me with the universe, I learned much much more about myself.
I am truly grateful for having had the opportunity to stay in the temple and around Li Shifu, whose presence, in my opinion, is a paradox in itself. A person that can seem harsh and at the same time extremely gentle. A true master who does not care what you want and is open-hearted to what you truly need.
– Written by Cheng Han
