A Seed of Faith
A few days before coming to the temple, my backpack got so heavy that I had to struggle not to give up the trip. Fortunately, while my thoughts were telling me not to come, something in my heart kept pointing me to this direction.
And so I came but so did my biggest fears. Demons got bigger during the first couple of days at the temple, and then something slowly started to change. Whatever had pointed me to this direction was also helping me to calm my heart and my mind.
At one point, while standing in front of Ling Guan I had this feeling that all things were being taken care by the Great Hands and that there was no need to worry. I need to put a lot of efforts to go back to this feeling again but now I know I can turn my fears and worries into a prayer and a reverence.
Classes have been intense. Sometimes even shocking for making me realize how far I am from a true compassionate heart. But then, it does not matter. As Shifu said, we are all practicing life!
Surely, the teachings I am getting from this Divine Place will be put at test once I go back into society. The 49 barriers are not mere theory. They will manifest in society again and again.
A seed of Faith has however been planted. Faith on the method. Faith on the direction. Faith on the possibility to become a better person and refine my character on each step of the way.
Repeatedly, during this course, we were told to let go. Whenever I heard this, I noticed the resistance within me along with the question of whether letting go and concentrating on my cultivation is not selfishness. Then I smile at this thought of me being still in kindergarten. Who knows, one day, I might be able to just laugh.
Karine
