Last new moon evening scriptures was a gift. A loving energy came down into my heart, my mind started to calm down, being surrounded and cherished like in a cocoon. I entered into meditation, being here and nowhere at the same time, listening vibrations resonating into my heart.
In the last few days, my energy began to come back again from time to time, as fast glances of what it could be if I keep training my Gong. Morning Qi Gong & evening Healing Qi Gong open my channels, often giving me a feeling of warm tense power in my hands, fingers, my forehead… The morning Zhan Zhuang posture also gave me a feeling of energy concentration in my lower Dan Tian. My heart, which tends to be constantly shaken like a monkey jumping around, started to calm down, but overall being in my Dan Tian gave me the feeling of dissociation of my thoughts.
I’ve been into a lot of struggles these last few days, I’ve been very sensitive to other people’s emotions, feelings, energy, trying to figure out if they was projections of mine, not knowing anymore what belong to me and what doesn’t, and at the same time trying to protect my space and putting an effort to maintain collective harmony.
During this morning Qi Gong posture, I was like in a cinema, watching all these possible creations from my mind without identifying with them, a powerful feeling came out, and I wondered – what if I’d use this energy from all 
these thoughts to feel myself on earth again, to heal myself, to get power, being more confident and being able to do what I’m deeply willing to do, give people help to figure out their own issues and find their own light. Earth connection is something I lost for too long, it taught me a lot but I came to live an earthly experience and I assume I’ll be healthier and more useful being grounded. It’s paradoxical, I often felt I was not interested in society activities as I feel society is deeply sick and it would be dangerous to be adapted to it, however I do want to be able to live within, without forgetting who I am.
Today, as I write this summary, this feeling of being able to cultivate and elevate my self and at the same time being able to live in nowadays society and contribute to make changes happen within gives me a direction which resonates somewhere.
